No I haven't fallen off the planet!

But I do feel like I'd rather be on another one! Sorry guys just having a bad week - the whole menopause thing has taken me over this week and my hormones are running rampant. I've normally a fairly level sort of temperament and not given to highs and lows but this week..........my god I"m the woman from hell - mad as all hell one minute then just want to cry my eyes out the next. Bloss of course is in the midst of all this - essentially he's really quite a lazy person around the house - looks after the pool and mows the lawns which are usually once a fortnight jobs, throws in the three loads of washing on a Saturday morning and hangs it out and that's about it. So food shopping, paying bills, banking, organising tradesmen, buying new appliances, cooking, organising the cleaning lady, dropping off and picking up from the ironing lady, taking the dog to the vet, organising holidays, keeping the house tidy, setting up social occasions with friends, sending out birthday cards, Christmas cards, shopping for presents - that's all mine. Now I used to get really wound up about this then decided I could either get miserable and fight about it all the time or just get on with it - and most of the time I do but this week with the hormones the way they are - it's all getting to me. It's made worse with the fact that while he's very vocal in his appreciation to others of meals cooked, help provided etc - as witnessed during our recent trip to Cairns - when it comes to me - not a word of thanks or appreciation - just re-read that - in fairness not quite true - but the appreciation and thanks are very few and far between and the offers of help non existent.

I remember a friend telling me that one of the things she got during menopause was this feeling of being overwhelmed, and I've just realised that's exactly how I'm feeling - I just seem to have so much on at the moment and feel that it's me against the world and I'm coping with everything singlehandedly - now the normal rational practical me knows full well that's not true but as I said above there's buggar all rational about me at the moment. Then there's been the hot flushes and night sweats - definitely the worst they've ever been this past couple of weeks.

Ok that's the rant over for now - the trip to Cairns - was brilliant. Bloss's cousin lives up in Malanda on the Atherton Tablelands and while Cairns was bloody hot and humid, up there was just beautiful. We did a bit of tripping around, went to Rusty's Market in Cairns and to Yungeburra Markets - got a lovely new wind feature for the deck and some lovely soaps. Bloss's cousin's daughter is a renowned soapmaker - google Patti Flynn and you'll see some of her stuff - I brought home some beautiful soaps and we also got to watch the whole soapmaking process in the shed/factory/laboratory she and her husband operate from. We of course did the Kuranda to Cairns trip on the train and then came back up the hill on the Skyrail - pretty awesome stuff. Have attached some photos. With all the recent rain it was beautiful and the Barron and Stoney Creek falls were in fine flow!

Now the eating/drinking front. Well despite all this disgruntlement with my life - my eating and drinking has been pretty exemplary since we came back from Cairns. Have to say that I managed to undo most of the previous good in our five days up there but I was right back on to it on Tuesday and by this morning all the badness has gone.

On Friday night we went out for dinner with my manager and the rest of our leadership team for dinner to farewell me as I move to my new role. We had a lovely meal and he gave the most complimentary speech about me and the work I do and said how much they were going to miss me.

Just a little aside now - relations have been very strained and quiet between Bloss and me since yesterday morning when I had a hissy fit when, as I had so much on, I asked him to take the dog to the vet for me - I actually gave him an opportunity to offer and when he didn't asked him if he could do it for me - lots of huffing and puffing and umming and aahing then he said he would - I told him it wasn't worth the drama and I'd do it myself. Anyway this opened up the space for a few more comments from me about his lack of contribution or appreciation. Anyway since I've started this - I'm sitting up in bed on the laptop - he's cleaned the BBQ and is now mowing the lawns - must have pricked his conscience I think. And I know that all of you out there are probably rolling around the floor laughing by now as I'm sure each and every one of you can relate to feeling like this at one time or another!!!

Other news - got a text yesterday from No 2 son who went back to London last Sunday. He'd planned to stay there until word came through for him to start the next job which is in Brazil. Anyway the text says he's coming home and can he come and stay again. Turns out he's over the wet, cold, miserable weather in UK, misses the warmth and sunshine and has had enough of shared housing. He's also just bought another house down in Mt Martha, out of Melbourne and it'll be easier to sort out everything form this side of the world. So he's back again next Saturday - what a nice surprise.

I babysat my grandsons last night - they're just so much fun and such loving little boys - so although I've had a massive whinge here - it's just a vent and I'm truly thankful for the wonderful people in my life.

This is Bloss at Lake Barrine

Bloss and I at the outlook at Barron Falls

Barron Falls

The Barron Falls from the other side - taken from the stop as we came back up on the Skyrail

Coming back down into Kuranda on the Skyrail - could just imagine all the crocodiles in that river!

Bloss and I with Gail (his cousin) and husband Jimmy

And saving the very best for last - these are all the wonderful boys in my life

This is No 2 son Clive with No 1 grandson Josh

Clive with No 2 grandson Curtis

And my two wonderful sons who I am so proud of - No 1 son Grant and Clive

Well if you've managed to get this far - you must be one of my staunch regulars. Thanks for bearing with me and next post I"ll try to be back to my usual upbeat self. Also want to apologise to you all for the lack of comments - in line with this whole overwhelming thing I've been reading but just can't get up the oomph to comment. I WILL try harder.

Take care my lovelies
Love Z xx