No I haven't fallen off the planet!

But I do feel like I'd rather be on another one! Sorry guys just having a bad week - the whole menopause thing has taken me over this week and my hormones are running rampant. I've normally a fairly level sort of temperament and not given to highs and lows but this week..........my god I"m the woman from hell - mad as all hell one minute then just want to cry my eyes out the next. Bloss of course is in the midst of all this - essentially he's really quite a lazy person around the house - looks after the pool and mows the lawns which are usually once a fortnight jobs, throws in the three loads of washing on a Saturday morning and hangs it out and that's about it. So food shopping, paying bills, banking, organising tradesmen, buying new appliances, cooking, organising the cleaning lady, dropping off and picking up from the ironing lady, taking the dog to the vet, organising holidays, keeping the house tidy, setting up social occasions with friends, sending out birthday cards, Christmas cards, shopping for presents - that's all mine. Now I used to get really wound up about this then decided I could either get miserable and fight about it all the time or just get on with it - and most of the time I do but this week with the hormones the way they are - it's all getting to me. It's made worse with the fact that while he's very vocal in his appreciation to others of meals cooked, help provided etc - as witnessed during our recent trip to Cairns - when it comes to me - not a word of thanks or appreciation - just re-read that - in fairness not quite true - but the appreciation and thanks are very few and far between and the offers of help non existent.

I remember a friend telling me that one of the things she got during menopause was this feeling of being overwhelmed, and I've just realised that's exactly how I'm feeling - I just seem to have so much on at the moment and feel that it's me against the world and I'm coping with everything singlehandedly - now the normal rational practical me knows full well that's not true but as I said above there's buggar all rational about me at the moment. Then there's been the hot flushes and night sweats - definitely the worst they've ever been this past couple of weeks.

Ok that's the rant over for now - the trip to Cairns - was brilliant. Bloss's cousin lives up in Malanda on the Atherton Tablelands and while Cairns was bloody hot and humid, up there was just beautiful. We did a bit of tripping around, went to Rusty's Market in Cairns and to Yungeburra Markets - got a lovely new wind feature for the deck and some lovely soaps. Bloss's cousin's daughter is a renowned soapmaker - google Patti Flynn and you'll see some of her stuff - I brought home some beautiful soaps and we also got to watch the whole soapmaking process in the shed/factory/laboratory she and her husband operate from. We of course did the Kuranda to Cairns trip on the train and then came back up the hill on the Skyrail - pretty awesome stuff. Have attached some photos. With all the recent rain it was beautiful and the Barron and Stoney Creek falls were in fine flow!

Now the eating/drinking front. Well despite all this disgruntlement with my life - my eating and drinking has been pretty exemplary since we came back from Cairns. Have to say that I managed to undo most of the previous good in our five days up there but I was right back on to it on Tuesday and by this morning all the badness has gone.

On Friday night we went out for dinner with my manager and the rest of our leadership team for dinner to farewell me as I move to my new role. We had a lovely meal and he gave the most complimentary speech about me and the work I do and said how much they were going to miss me.

Just a little aside now - relations have been very strained and quiet between Bloss and me since yesterday morning when I had a hissy fit when, as I had so much on, I asked him to take the dog to the vet for me - I actually gave him an opportunity to offer and when he didn't asked him if he could do it for me - lots of huffing and puffing and umming and aahing then he said he would - I told him it wasn't worth the drama and I'd do it myself. Anyway this opened up the space for a few more comments from me about his lack of contribution or appreciation. Anyway since I've started this - I'm sitting up in bed on the laptop - he's cleaned the BBQ and is now mowing the lawns - must have pricked his conscience I think. And I know that all of you out there are probably rolling around the floor laughing by now as I'm sure each and every one of you can relate to feeling like this at one time or another!!!

Other news - got a text yesterday from No 2 son who went back to London last Sunday. He'd planned to stay there until word came through for him to start the next job which is in Brazil. Anyway the text says he's coming home and can he come and stay again. Turns out he's over the wet, cold, miserable weather in UK, misses the warmth and sunshine and has had enough of shared housing. He's also just bought another house down in Mt Martha, out of Melbourne and it'll be easier to sort out everything form this side of the world. So he's back again next Saturday - what a nice surprise.

I babysat my grandsons last night - they're just so much fun and such loving little boys - so although I've had a massive whinge here - it's just a vent and I'm truly thankful for the wonderful people in my life.

This is Bloss at Lake Barrine

Bloss and I at the outlook at Barron Falls

Barron Falls

The Barron Falls from the other side - taken from the stop as we came back up on the Skyrail

Coming back down into Kuranda on the Skyrail - could just imagine all the crocodiles in that river!

Bloss and I with Gail (his cousin) and husband Jimmy

And saving the very best for last - these are all the wonderful boys in my life

This is No 2 son Clive with No 1 grandson Josh

Clive with No 2 grandson Curtis

And my two wonderful sons who I am so proud of - No 1 son Grant and Clive

Well if you've managed to get this far - you must be one of my staunch regulars. Thanks for bearing with me and next post I"ll try to be back to my usual upbeat self. Also want to apologise to you all for the lack of comments - in line with this whole overwhelming thing I've been reading but just can't get up the oomph to comment. I WILL try harder.

Take care my lovelies
Love Z xx

Well??

So how has the 40 day operation gone? Nothing like as well as it could/should have - while I did some things really well there were others especially having a few drinks of an evening which definitely hindered progress. As of yesterday I'd lost 1.2kgs which is really pretty ordinary but I guess that any weight loss is good weight loss. I'm struggling to get my head into the right place at the moment, so while I haven't lost the plot, I'm not making any real progress. I'm going to plan on watching my eating as much as I possibly can while we're in Cairns and environs and try and find whatever it is I need to find to get me back on track once I get back on Easter Monday. I'm so not liking the overhang I have on all my trousers and jeans at the moment and I get quite angry with myself for stuffing around like this. I need to just get my head down and bum up and get rid of these extra kilos so I feel good about myself again and fit all my clothes easily. I just have so much happening in my life at the moment - which is great - but means that I end up spreading myself a bit thin. I officially start my new role at work on 14 April but right now I'm transitioning - doing both old and new jobs. So over the next week I have to look at moving offices for me, both my team members - one of whom already works for me. Until our new training model is fully in place I'm also looking after another 3 training officers who have just started in their role so obviously in need of a lot of support as they get to grips with it all. In my new role - as a site Learning and Development Advisor I have to set up and manage with the help of my two training administrators, the training administration systems of our entire site - about 1200 people. As well as this I have to pick up some of the workload of another L and D advisor who is being transferred to another project. So exciting and challenging times ahead. But just to keep me on my toes, I've been nominated to participate in the next wave of our company FLDP - which is a Diploma of Business (Frontline Management). This involves a series of two and three day workshops, some coaching sessions and presentations to the management team and assignments to complete for workplace assessment. The introduction session was on Friday last week with the first workshop on 9/10 April and the aim of completing the diploma by the end of December. So while I can do a lot of it at work, there'll still be a fair bit of homework. I'm also the leader and coordinator of our Call Centre which is an integral part of our site Disaster Management plan and means I have to have a team of people on call, trained and ready to man the call centre in the event of any major incident which could occur on site. I thought it all through and made a submission to the manager who heads up the DM plan that having led this team for the past 5 years, that it was time to hand over the reins especially in the light of the workload I have in the coming months. He's agreed to follow this through with the other necessary managers but I'll need to continue to carry the can for the next 6 weeks or so. But here's hoping I can handball it after that. Not sure now if I told you that Bloss and I are off to Cairns on Wednesday for about 6 days. His cousin and husband live on the Atherton Tablelands and we've been promising to go and see them for ages now and so decided we'd head up over Easter. I did a bit of mucking around trying to find flights which didn't cost an arm and a leg with not too much success. Then I had the bright idea of checking out frequent flyer flights and by changing our stay to two days before Easter rather than one extra day either end, I was able to get flights on the 'milk run' on Wednesday morning and back again on Monday. It means a four hour flight with three stops on the way but only costs us 16,000 points each there and back and about $80 each taxes. No 2 son has extended his stay by another week and instead of leaving tomorrow is now leaving next Monday. This was lucky break for us as I had completely forgotten to book Zanna into the kennels for our Easter break so luckily he'll be here to look after her. Bloss and I went out for dinner last night to a little local restaurant. There was a party of people from work there farewelling one of the managers from work. Also there was a guy (with his wife) who used to work for me. He's done well - he moved from my team to a business improvement advisor role and is now about to move to one of our sister sites in a step up to a BI coach role. Even after he left my team he has always popped in and sought my advice on various things. Last night I had a chat with his wife who I hadn't seen for some time. Imagine my surprise and delight when she said she wanted to thank me so much for all the support and mentoring I had given her husband both when he was in my team and afterwards and said that she thought I'd played a big part in his success. Well that gave me a warm fuzzy feeling I can tell you and I guess is what this whole leadership business is all about. OK kiddos - I'll try to keep hanging on by my fingernails. If anyone has any spare mojo - please send it my way!! Love Z xx

Leaky Boat

Noah’s ark has sprung a bit of a leak this week! It was cruising well up till Friday evening – then there was a delivery of cheese, biscuits and nibblies, Saturday morning there was BBQ breakfast, lunch out on Saturday, more of the cheese biscuit thing on Saturday night then the hangover cures on Sunday of potato chips (for salt) and hot chips (for grease)!!! Actually it sounds dreadful but probably wasn’t all that bad and I can honestly say that as of yesterday morning I was right back on track.

I had a great weekend catching up with my friend and her family – hadn’t seen the middle son – now 26 and a dentist – since he was 15! Then there was the new grandson to admire and also their house renovations to see. Unfortunately Shaz was sick and so cancelled out on Friday morning so I went on my own anyway.

Friday night A and I just had a couple of drinks and dinner at her place and caught up. Saturday morning we went out to her daughter and son in laws farm for breakfast, then the two of us went to a lovely local restaurant for lunch. There I was trying to make good choices wherever possible so I ordered a prawn and calamari salad with the coriander and ginger dressing on the side. It was delivered exactly like that – only problem was that the prawns and calamari were done tempura style – and there had been absolutely no mention of that on the menu. Anyway I ate and enjoyed. Then around 3.30pm we went to the Food and Wine festival – actually there’s not really anything exciting in the way of food – we had taken our own nibblies of which I ate far too many, then I started to eat a baked potato which was raw in the middle so I took it back got my money refunded and didn’t bother buying anything else. After the festival finished we ended up in the local RSL club and danced the night away. Sunday morning neither of us were too bright but a couple panadols helped and I left around 10am for the drive home. I stopped a couple of times when I craved some salty food and got home around 2pm – then had to have a wee sleep!

Not much else in the way of news this week – I’m at work so don’t have my updated picture chart – I’ll put it all on next week when I tell you how it all panned out.

Someone sent me the cartoon below and knowing how many of us in blogworld are struggling with 'The Poz', I thought I'd share it with you.



Now here's A and I at the restaurant having lunch - we're toasting poor sick Shaz here



And this is me with A's son, son in law and grandson - all happy chappies by this stage!



I’m kind of struggling with blogging at the moment, life seems to have taken over a bit and I just don’t have the time or energy or even inclination to post or comment much, although I do try and catch up with all your news. Please be patient with me – I’ll probably just dip in and out for the time being till I get back in my usual groove again.

Take care possums
Love Z

Operation Noah - Day 21

Not such a pretty chart this week. In my favour I have drunk my water every day, weighed my food where required every day and tracked every morsel. But...... I have had no exercise other than incidental, had alcohol every day and went over my 18 points on the last three days. My excuse is that it was Bloss's 60th last week and we managed to celebrate his birthday for almost four days! He was adamant that he didn't want a fuss or a party but by the time we caught up with each of our friends and family it was a big job!!

I'm really not in the mood to blog today so will keep this pretty brief. I've had a weekend of 'tidying' - you know the situation when the clothes in the wardrobe are all over the place - I like to keep all my trousers together, all my shirts together and I sort them according to colour - and they definitely weren't the way I like them. Then there was the filing in the study and the tupperware drawer! Get the picture?? But they are all super organised now. No 1 son and family are coming for tea tonight and No2 son is still here so will be lovely to have them all together.

OK I'm over it for now - promise to try harder next week - but will say that I can feel a difference - think I'll hop on the scales again next Sunday or Monday just to check how I'm going. Just realised it won't be till Monday as Shaz and I are heading down to Kingaroy for the Food and Wine Festival next weekend. I have a friend down there who rang the other week and asked if we wanted to go - we stay at her place. We went a few years ago and had a great time so looking forward to it again this year.

I'm outta here. Have a great week my lovelies.
Z xx